Thursday, September 24, 2009
A Right on Time God and Glimmer of Hope
I'm certianly behind a few days but i'll try to update. The endo from Duke got back with the bloodwork, and of course does not want to treat the tumors. All the nurse told me was `Ovarian Faluire and i would need treatment. So i had her fax everything here to the endo i've Yet to see since that last MRI several months ago.The app. was not supposed to be until the 29th. I already had planned to admit myself through the ER by tomorrow, i just cannot take the constant heart palpitations and heat-sweats 24/7 any longer. About 3pm i got a call from this endo's office and she asked me if i could Please do her a favor and come in tomorrow morning at 9am! I said you bet i will, i was going to be heading that way tomorrow to be admitted one way or the other. That took the pressure off of me,Thank You Lord.
I can't believe this Duke Dr didn't even want to try and shrink the tumors-Prolactinoma. At least thats what I KNOW by what we saw, same as the first tumor in 04-05 that sent me into menapause. Ok, Please straighten me out if i'm wrong, but is ovarian failure not MENAPAUSE???? If thats All it is, i told him that i'd been menapausal for about 4 years. I'm looking forward to hearing what treatment he recommends, when you need harmones you need Harmones! Forget the breasts for now, geez, i'm homebound. Unless he for some reason thinks the ovaries are cancerous i don't know what other treatment he may be talking about.
`QUALITY OF LIFE IS `MUCH` MORE IMPORTANT TO ME THAN QUANTITY`
It's going to be interesting to see if he says no to harmones, and i say, if there were no such thing as breast cancer, would you give them to me then??? If he says no, i don't have to ask why, but i will... it's because there are tumors on my pituitary gland!
I'm not leaving that place tomorrow and coming home with a pill to see if i can tolerate it to shrink the tumors Only and keep living like this. He will admit me (unless i'm satisfied he has given me the only thing i know that helps-it ain't gonna happen folks) but all that to say, when its gotten to this point, Anyone needs to be in a hospital where all the different doctors can be involved in a short period of time. No more waiting months for an appointment.
I know i sound sarcastic, i feel sarcastic, tired of having to do the Drs. jobs for them. but Enough is Enough! NO is NOT an option.
Just the THOUGHT of trying to remember Who i was 3 years ago and the glimmer of hope that i may find this woman again, even maybe look healthy is exciting and yet dare i even think that way yet??? YES! I have to~! If i was dying fine! But this is totally Treatable, what only a little common sense would do is go a Very Long Way with the medical community.
However i will Not give up on getting something done about these tumors. When they tell me to wait another 6 months, get an MRI bla..... I'm going to say, well....what are we waiting for???? Ahhhh.... it to maybe disappear? Keep Growing? Until i have a disease caused by these tumors, until WHAT? I asked the nurse that called me that and she said, in a sad voice, i just don't know.
Ok...that's out of my system, i know by the way i'm coming across you'd never know i absolultly KNOW without Condition that God is in Control, when this passes i will be able to help someone who is going through the same thing. I refuse to allow suffereing to be in vain, something good Will come from this.
I've listed the first Pit. Tumor Awareness Bracelet Design under `Awareness and Support Items` at the bottom of the links on the right of this page. Brain/PitTumor colors are Silver to dark gray, black. I want these to Stand Out so people will say, what does that mean? But.. its up to You who have these tumors to wear them and spread the word. The pink ribbon had to start somewhere. I love making jewelry, and am going to keep these as low cost as possible. They've first Got to be affordable to even Start to get the message out. We've got to wear them. The money is not the important thing to me, its keeping 1out 5 Other people from going through what many of us are and have.
Also i'll have some cards made up to give out, many people do that now even without a Cause, with the phone number and email. I run into people all the time who give me their cards, just a couple of weeks ago, a woman who had breast cancer gave me her card. We were both looking at Jewely and almost passed out at the prices! $40-50 for a pair of earings i know what it costs to make, so we got to talking. I wish i'd had a card then to give her. But...she Does know where to go to become Aware. A card just makes it easier than trying to find a piece of paper and pen. Simply...Pituitary Tumor Awareness! You Can Do It!
Love & Blessings*
Cj
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